Reading the comments/posts we wrote since the past till now (tweets)... things changes a lot. especially feelings toward one another. back then i think was a bad girl asking for nothing just as a friend. but you are deeply in love and was trying ur best but you were also tired of hanging and wanted to give up. Time flies and now we are back to square one when everything is where it started. 

No feeling no intention no interests no commitment no missing no hanging no hurt no pain no tears and no <3. 

Sometime i do have the image when we are back then (your feeling toward me was so deeply and my feeling for you NOW will to put into that situation... we wont feel the pain and enjoy each other's love). many thing like fights and arguements will be minimise. cause we wanted to be with each other, and those things will not seperate us apart. but it was just my own wishful thinking. maybe it wont work at all...

people change, mindset change, expectation change, feeling change according to situation blah blah blah... all this have cause misleading, break down communication and broken promises. we do not talk about our problems, worries, daily life and kept secret within each other. i have the phobia of sharing my problems and worries to a guy, cause not every guy understanding what i am thinking.. they eventually think i am complaining and nagging over the relationship, leads to fight over small stuff. this apply to you. 

what is not yours, will not be yours no matter how hard we try. the amount of cares you show and said have being covered/ overtake by the amount of judgement we apply for the person you loved. therefore, we do not see their positive side, only the bad part the person. below is the quote i just to love a lot and i posted it on fb and on my blog several times.

You judged me from  thinking that i do not appreciate your love back then but eventually i was afraid to fall in love and fall out of love very fast. which i told you before i am not ready....

i judged you that you do not care and concern about me back then but eventually you did all you can, just that you are not an expressing person. Your little action shows but i was too blind to notice them. 

You judged me from my personalities, which if you love me you will compromised me and love me.

i judged you from your personalities, that clashing with my personalities. (both of us are stubborn, ego high, give up easily, immature.... blah blah). but i did not spend the time to understand your personalities and compromised you.

Overall, i was just a girl who want all the attention from a guy who promise to love me and will not hurt me no matter what happened, do not betray me, loyal to me and i can trust him..... hence, i hurted myself from all my own wishful thinking and never actually deeply in love with the person i was with....... till he leave me due to all the pains he had. if i loved you, i will give in to you everytime we argue, cause i can use the time to love you rather than pick a fight with you but i did not. Now i think about it, i realised that i wasnt that deeply in love with you. i thought i was "deeply" in love but i was just in love with a you.

Overall, you were once in love with a terrible girl and she is difficult to handle... (the rest of the part i cannot summary for you, as it might be more than what i think of.... this part will be fill up with your own words in your mind_______________fill in the blank_______________). everyone have their right to say things.

Basically this post was not to blame or point out the mistake, or faults we did. it was just my deep thinking in my inner mind trying to write into words. if this words express myself clearly enough, it was a meaningful post eventually.:))