Monday, July 26, 2010
Last blogged @ 7:18 AM

Today is the first day of my 5 months being alone. But all along i am alone, single just attached. In this 5 months of being together, many happy and sad moments. the first 3 months was so happy for me. i still remember you pick me up at my work place drive to get this fish porridge, surprise me after you went for checkup bought a couple water bottles for me and you, another surprises were we planned to go out on Friday, you went to NP waited for 3 hours till i end my classes and many more. all of this i did not appreciated at that time. you told me you treated me very good  le but i was so thinking i have done more than all this you have done for me, in return you would be giving me more. I have this wrong mindset. I believe you had the feeling for me for the first 3 months. however, our relation worsen after numerous quarrel of small matter. I did told you my problem with all my ex were that they cant stand that i always so petty(fight) in the first place when we knew each other, but i simply just need a apologies from them, i don care who is in the wrong just apologies everything will be fine. but i guess you did not bother anymore, at first u did but after so many times you neglect the problem and think that you are not happy with me and you felt that i am not happy with you all the time. eventually, i am not unhappy just that i want to make thing right for us but sometime i am unhappy lah. I complaint coz i care but you don since to think that way. you struggled through this 2 months giving me chances and opportunity for me to prove to you that I can be nice (will not complaint on small matter). I tried really tried. but i guess even i tried when there was a little fight that happened, you think that i did not change and always asked me to be myself and said all the thing i do not want to hear(not suit to be tgt, don meet anymore, you are tired of all this quarrels). Cause you already had an impression of me that was not good. If you love me,you should try to understand my problem that always make me angry (avoid that problem) but i guess you are no longer want to be with me so you don bother to try. Even if you did, you gave up too soon.

24 of july morning we split for sure. You does not want to sms, see, or even talk to me. all i can do is to try to get contacted with you. But you was so stubborn and wanted to be away from me forever. There was nothing i can do, i did try but it still failed. I just have move on with my life, i am not sure that whether i will wait for you if you happen to ask me out again. Surprisingly, i went to read your blog in the past. I am so envious with your ex gf. she was so lucky cause you really love her and want to do anything for her; but sad was she did not appreciated you. I think same is girl but don have same good life. Anyway that day i realized i am not wrong, actually we are about to settle it but somehow you suddenly talk about don meet anymore all that. i told you that i want to watch the movies with you but you keep saying don't talked about it. You are the one being angry and not happy. Think about it, do it makes sense?

Thanks to my friend ZC and family members telling me that just have to forget about you and move on, they told me if you still love me or have the feeling as i have you will someday return. Right now, I will concentrated on my school works and save up for my 21 bday trip.

p.s. I really hope we can still talk about our stuff and joke around (i have lose another guy friend). eventually i told you that i cant be friend with you after we broke up, but i have to face the truth we cant be tgt anymore yet i still like you. This is what you have decided on unless your stubborn mindset can change or else there are nothing I can do. So ya, live happily and I will enjoy my life to the fullness. Take care~ and success your plan =) (hope to see a skinny desmond)